Thursday, March 25, 2010
When I first thought about starting this blog, my mind was racing all day long with things to talk about and subjects to explore. I've long since realized I not only enjoy vocalizing my thoughts, but need to get out all the chaos rolling around in my head. I have been a journal writer for years and have found that very helpful but as the kids started coming and eventually outnumbered us, my world became a very busy place. It was all I could do to keep my thoughts straight, never mind write them down! Then one day I discovered Facebook. Ok, "discovered" is not actually a fair term. I had been ignoring invitations to jump on that particular bandwagon for months. Admittedly I didn't really know all the facts but had always held the belief that people who didn't keep in touch over the years must have had a reason. Also I may not be the most computer savvy person on this planet so I will admit to being a little intimidated. Of course almost three years later I know I couldn't have been more wrong and now I enjoy some very close friendships through that social medium that I would likely never have if I'd kept my head in the sand. I found the "world at my fingertips" feeling to be intoxicating. I was also overwhelmed by the love and support from so many when my health took a turn and I found myself spending most of my days on the couch wondering what would happen next. By now my addiction to Facebook is legendary as well as a source of humor around here. Although I am finding many people are opting out of that social forum now, I see no need to deprive myself of the joy I get from checking up on all my "friends" before I start the day. And yet, these days I am finding myself needing more. As the months go on, things in that world are frankly just getting silly. The once much anticipated "profile status" has now become a place of mundane copy and paste statements that hold no interest for me. I don't care what color bra you're wearing and you shouldn't care what mine looks like. I know you support cancer/autism/the military troops/whatever but I don't need to read it on twenty generic status updates and for the record: if I don't already know when your kids are born then I probably don't need to. That sounds harsh when I read it back but my point is that Facebook of late has left me wanting more. Hence this blog. I am beginning to see it as a mix between journalling and reaching out to others, a place where I can vent and share with the small possibility of someone actually reading it! The only thing I am not use is the lack of feedback. On Facebook you write one statement and within minutes a dozen of your closest friends have a comment about it. Here, nothing. But I suppose that is the point and as I am heading down that same dark and lonely road where my health is concerned it helps to know I have a place to call my own right here.