I'm drowning in a river of guilt.
After a busy start to the week, we got up this morning and realized that both Rhian and Owen had skating with their classes today at the community center. Not only did I not have their skates and helmets unearthed from last year's skating trips, but I was totally unprepared for Rhian to burst out with, "So are you coming Mommy?"
True, I was off today. True, I didn't really have solid plans. But when I have one day off in a week, thats a full day. Between groceries, laundry, dishes all over the kitchen, floors to wash and several errands to run - I had a full day.
But didn't I have one hour to spare?
Of course I did. But I didn't really have another one later on in the day to go with Owen's class (and I'm very careful to do for one what I do for another), then come home to make supper before making sure all homework is done and then rush out the door by 5:30 for dance and cadet drop off, only to run home for cubs pickup. Geesh, when did life get so busy?
So I didn't go. I thought about her at 10:45 when I knew she'd be getting her skates on. I tried to forget her telling me not to worry about how she'd get them on since another one of the moms she KNEW would be there would help her. Yeah, that one hurt.
But during that hour I was at the store getting the cereal they asked me for and replacing the bananas they told me were gone. I came home to wash the skinny jeans she asked me to clean and to make the cookies I know she will be very happy to discover after school.
So I can't do it all. I guess I'm going to have to accept that. In the meantime I will meet the kids at the door when they arrive and ask about their day over warm cookies. I will listen to the stories about skating and hope they don't hold it against me that I wasn't there.
There truly is nothing like a mother's guilt.